Confession: I sort of went into this blogging thing kicking and screaming. (Literally? Figuratively? Guess!) It was hard to commit to blogging when I wanted to spend time with my good friend Mr. Novel. But I knew I needed to do it.
What I didn’t know was that in addition to helping me hone my voice and who I am as a writer, blogging would also mean new friends. One of those friends is today’s guest: Jessica Patch!
I’m not sure how Jess came across my blog, but I’m so glad she did. She’s a blast. I love her blog, and can’t wait to read her books someday. And, dude, today’s post—awesome. So read away and enjoy and let’s chat about…kisses. 🙂
Sealed with a Kiss: XOXO
I believe the first romantic line about kissing came from a young woman who didn’t feel good enough to belong to the man who loved her completely. She says, “I am dark, but lovely.”
My favorite line from her is: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is sweeter than wine.”
That’s a sigh moment.
There’s a song that says, “A kiss is just a kiss…” (As Time Goes By—Casablanca)
But I don’t believe that for a second.
That line comes from the Song of Songs 1:2. Song of Songs means Loveliest Song. And it is. It’s a beautiful love story, full of passion, heartache, regret, and redemption through love with an ultimately satisfying ending. Bliss. Most would say this is about Solomon in general and the his beloved. But it’s also, and I believe mostly, a story of the love of Jesus for His bride—for us. An intimate picture. Full of symbolism and heart fluttering moments.
So what’s really in a kiss anyway? Is it just two people attracted to each other? And how important is it in a story?
It’s everything.
I dare to say the first kiss in a book is much more powerful than the first time a couple takes it all the way to the bedroom, and as an inspirational writer, that never takes place graphically. The door to the bedroom shuts. But even so, even in books that leave the door open, the kiss means so much more.
A kiss is powerful.
Research shows the following: (and I’ve taken it verbatim from here)
“Anyone who has ever been kissed knows that the sensations involved aren’t confined to the mouth. Your facial nerve carries impulses between your brain and the muscles and skin in your face and tongue. While you kiss, it carries messages from your lips, tongue and face to your brain to tell it what’s going on. Your brain responds by ordering your body to produce:
Oxytocin, which helps people develop feelings of attachment, devotion and affection for one another
Dopamine, which plays a role in the brain’s processing of emotions, pleasure and pain
Serotonin, which affects a person’s mood and feelings
Adrenaline, which increases heart rate and plays a role in your body’s fight-or-flight response”
Can I just say, my daughter is not allowed to kiss until her wedding day—which by the way—is an agreement or a seal, the kiss at the close of a wedding.
Sealed with a kiss.
That’s why we use the X for a kiss. XOXO. In ancient days, people who couldn’t sign their name on an agreement used an X. The O is for encircling, thus an O represents a hug. But that’s just a freebie on the side for you!
A kiss from our Savior is when He breathes the Word into us. Ancient Jews believed that when they read scripture it was a kiss from God. Think about it, when you read your Bible and personal revelation comes, what happens?
Oxytocin: You develop an attachment to, devotion and affection for the One who just kissed you.
Dopamine: Your brain processes and brings pleasure. Giddiness even.
Seratonin: Your mood and feelings are affected. A kiss from Jesus can you send you into a state of calm, elation, tingling, and exceeding amounts of happiness. Complete. Loved. Joy.
Adrenaline: A rush as your heart beats faster knowing He’s just given you exactly what you needed. Personal revelation. A kiss.
I believe everything physical is always a spiritual picture of God and His relationship to and with us. We can understand spiritual intimacy because we experience physical intimacy. I think He designed it that way on purpose, because we just can’t wrap our brain around how truly glorious and wonderful our Lord is or how intimate His love is for us.
What do you think? Is a kiss just a kiss? And how important is that moment when you’re reading a novel or watching a movie?
Jessica R. Patch writes inspirational contemporary romance with plenty of mystery and suspense. A passion to draw women into intimacy with God keeps her motivated, along with heaping cups of caffeine in the form of coffee. When she’s not hunched over her laptop or speaking to a women’s group, you can find her sneaking off to movies with her husband, embarrassing her daughter in unique ways, beating her son at board games and contemplating how to get rid of her irksome dog (she hasn’t attempted any of them…yet). She is represented by Rachel Kent of Books and Such Literary Agency.
Comments 53
Tagg, You are too kind, lady!! I can’t wait to pull your books off the shelf and curl up reading them.
Thanks so much for having me! 🙂 You ROCK!
Yay, I love having you as a guest! So much fun…I giggled like crazy making your intro video!
WOW! What a great post! Who knew a kiss had all that going on behind the scenes? I love how initimately and personally Jesus loves us. Personal and soul-deep. Thanks, Melissa, for hosting Jessica. Whoot!
Me too! It gives me goosebumps. There was a ton more research I did, but I couldn’t add it all in. Very interesting topic!
Thanks for stopping by Donna! I had the same reaction as you – who knew? A kiss is NOT just a kiss… 🙂
Fun, fun post! Song of Songs makes me blush a little bit, but it’s so good and reminds us we have a passionate God who wants to woo us. *sigh*
And yes, first kisses are super important in books and movies. There is so much anticipation that leads up to it. I know that is in real life too. My husband and I didn’t kiss until our one-year anniversary of dating. But that doesn’t mean I hadn’t been dreaming about it for a long time. And when we finally kissed, ah, it was so beautiful. So much more beautiful because of the anticipation involved.
Song of Songs is probably my most favorite book! 🙂 I did a fabulous Bible study on it a few years back and it changed my world and my relationship with Jesus.
I think waiting to kiss your hubby for a whole year is beautiful…and you must have some serious self-control!
Aww, Lindsay, what a sweet story about you and your husband! Love it!!
Also, Jess, what Bible study did you do? I’m looking for a good one…I’ve also been meaning to check into the one on strength you’ve mentioned on your blog by Donna Pyle…
Excellent post–deep, meaty, thought-provoking. Good to pass on to lots of teens–and older.
Thank you! Yeah, I’m having a BIG talk with my daughter!
Thanks, Dee! There is so much more to “romance” than meets the eye and I love Jessica’s take on kisses. 🙂
And have fun with that talk with you daughter, Jess!
Jessica, my daughter isn’t allowed to kiss until her wedding day either! Let’s chain ’em up! (Sorry, I obviously took that too far! ha!)
Melissa, so nice to find your blog. Thanks!
You will love Tagg’s blog! It’s so fun and inspiring. I don’t think you went too far. You know, the whole means to an end thing! ha!
Jill, I stopped by your blog a bit ago. 🙂 So excited to have a new blog to read!
And thanks, Jess!
I do know Jessica and she is fun. At least she used to be, I haven’t seen her in a few years.
From the male perspective, the first kiss is just as much of a build up. The moment is huge and there is a surge of emotions. That first time when I really understood who Jesus was and what he did for me and I accepted him had many of the same feelings. Total euphoria. Felt like I was floating for days.
This is the perfect metaphor.
I’m still fun! I am! I am! 🙂
I agree. Total euphoria, thanks, Brett!
Brett, thanks for stopping by. I agree, Jessica IS fun. So glad she somehow stumbled onto my blog and I get to call her a friend now too. 🙂
Mmmmm, I love a kiss. 🙂 That’s my fave parts of the books I write, even if the kiss has to be very vague….mmmm. Good post, Jessica. The Songs are a lovely, lovely book.
I agree! I think a well-written kiss is WAY better than “in the bedroom” stuff that shows up in so many books and movies. Favorite on-screen kiss ever: Anne and Gilbert in Anne of Avonlea. 🙂
YAY!!!!! OK, so now you’ve made me want to go watch these movies, but I can’t because I can’t watch any movies in February. Thanks. A. Lot. Plus, the dilemma is furthered by the fact that I have to watch like 8 hours of film before getting to said kiss. *sigh* Wanna have a late-night Anne-a-thon at ACFW? I’ll bring the popcorn! 😛
Glad the title isn’t freaking you out any more! It is a lovely, lovely book!
Well, Melissa…I work with Jessica and I can tell you that she (and her whole family) is about THREE TIMES more fun in person than in print.
Seriously.
Great post, and thanks for giving this great lady some well-deserved exposure!
Just 3 times???!! LOL Thanks for popping in, girlfriend! 🙂
Ahh, jealous, Melissa – how fun that you get to work with Jessica! I’m digging your first name, too. 🙂
Notice, I said “about” three times, Jess…leaves a margin for error!
Yes, I truly look forward to coming in more on the days when she’s here!
A first kiss is a thrill unlike any other. As a reader or movie viewer, I eagerly wait for it and the rush of emotion accompanying it. Mmm-mmm good!
I always wonder how they make a kiss look so good with all those people in their ears and watching and camera lights. I read once that a very first scene was a kissing scene and the two actors hadn’t met. I wish I could remember which movie it was. Seems like a Nicole Kidman movie. Or maybe it was Kate Winslet and Leo in Titanic.
I agree, Keli. A good kiss can make or break the believability (word?) of a romance. 🙂 I always wonder how many takes it, uh, takes, to get just the right angle for an on-screen kiss!
I’m trying to think how to get Jess out here to CO … open invite!! There! Done.
My husband and I did a couples’ Bible study on the SOS years ago … so thought-provoking, especially as the couples were at different stages in their marriages. Learned a lot, I assure you, about both spiritual and marital intimacy. (OK, did that last part sound, um, wrong?)
And kisses … writing about them … so challenging. Because, yes, I am an inspirational writer, so there is no “bedroom” stuff. But I want my characters to be believable, which means they have feelings … so, how to write a believable kiss without going over the top …
Loved what you said about: “A kiss from our Savior is when He breathes the Word into us. Ancient Jews believed that when they read scripture it was a kiss from God. Think about it, when you read your Bible and personal revelation comes, what happens?”
Excellent post!
We should just have a massive gathering of online writing friends, Beth!
I think I said this in a different comment, but I think it takes so much more work to write a good kiss in a scene than all the bedroom stuff. Um, not that I’ve tried to write a bedroom scene – and I generally stay away from reading them, too. 🙂 But to me, it’s somewhat similar to the discussion of swearing in writing…I think it takes more skill (and frankly, more class) to write an angry scene where characters express deep emotion without swearing…expressing that emotion on the page in other language, through physical action, stronger nouns/verbs, engaging dialogue, rather than going to the easy swear word, to me, is similar to writing an awesome kiss versus taking us to the bedroom…just my two cents…
Oh, I saw agree about those lines from Jessica’s blog post, too. So good!
Oops, so agree, not saw agree!
Beth! I’ve been to CO twice, and I’d love to come hang out with you! I agree with Tagg. A huge massive gathering. 🙂
This idea has my vote! 🙂
Great to meet you, Melissa! Nice blog. Loved the post, Jess! I could only add – that a kiss is pure heaven.
Ever notice in books or movies, that when two people are close and about to kiss (or almost, but turn at the last second) our own lips pucker???
*sigh*
Great to meet you, too, Loree! Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by, read and comment!
I’ve never noticed that! I’m going to have to watch Pride and Prejudice or something and see if I pucker…hehehe…
Glad you came by, Loree! I know I tilt my head when they do! My husband makes fun of me. LOL
Our God is completely intimate – I so agree! And kissing, yeah, love that He gave us that:) I love reading a good kiss that makes me sigh over the characters–sigh, not have to cover my eyes, you know?
Great post, Jess – and good morning, err…afternoon Melissa!
It’s still morning here for about five more minutes, Susan. 🙂 I so agree with you – a wonderful kiss does let you sigh without needing to look away. I wish more movie directors today understood the power of that…
I’m glad He did too, Susan, and it really is afternoon now! Ha!
Love Jess! She’s awesome and funny and friendly. A good kiss is definitely important to me in books and movies. My favorite is in the BBC movie North and South. The worst was in another Elizabeth Gaskell’s novels turned into movie when the hero and heroine didn’t kiss at all. Totally ruined the movie.
Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, I LOVE North and South. You’re so right, that kiss in the end is gorgeous. Which Elizabeth Gaskell one did the characters not kiss in…Wives and Daughters? I seem to remember feeling disappointed near the end of that movie. Oh, I know why! Because near the end the two characters are standing in the rain and can’t touch because of sickness or something…
Thanks, Stace! I’m crazy about you too! Was that creepy? lol
So funny story, an editor twittered about loving the meeting in North and South to me, after she read my blog. I tweet back, “Oh I know! Me too! It makes me miss Patrick Swayze!” She tweeted back, “I meant the BCC version, but nice to know that one is good too.” OMG! LOL I felt 200 years old. Good times.
Very interesting! I like the comparison of a kiss reaction to the scripture reaction. It’s definitely building a relationship, a connection. One reason I wouldn’t tell my daughters wait until their wedding day to kiss! It’s good to see if there’s that kind of connection in the first place. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by, Carol – nice to meet you! I know, I never would’ve thought of the physical kiss/spiritual kiss connection. In fact, mention kisses to me and I may automatically think of Hershey’s chocolate kisses. I love the connection Jess drew!
Today, my old college roommate read the blog and left a comment saying how it brought back something funny I said in college. Uhoh…She said she asked, “How do you know Tim is the one?” (my husband of 16 years now) I told her, “I knew it when he kissed me!” I don’t even remember telling her that! She said, “I guess it worked!”
LOL
Excellent article, Jess! Melissa, nice to “meet” you. =)
Nice to “meet” you, too, Michelle! Thanks so much for stopping by!
Michelle!!! I’m so happy you’re on the blogosphere today! Thanks!
I love this post Jessica and Melissa! I wish our teens could realize how important saving their kisses were.
I echo your wish, Pat!
Thanks, Pat! I would love to write a non-fiction book for teens about all that kind of stuff, but I would have no clue where to start! 🙂 Hope to meet you in person next month!
Neat post, Jess! Love your description,”A kiss from our Savior is when He breathes the Word into us.” And Song of Solomon is quite a book! Thanks for this thought-provoking post!