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…about the ridiculousness of this post. photo credit: stock.xchng |
Two weeks ago today I embarked on a slightly insane mission called “Melissa spends an entire week writing and doesn’t leave her house.”
Now, here’s the thing: We’ve never really been able to figure out whether I’m an introvert or extrovert. And by we I mean me and every personality test I’ve ever taken. I stump Myers-Briggs, y’all.*
But even if a person is the most introverted of all introverts, seven days alone is a little too much. Or a lot. Although it’s great for the writing productivity, it’s not so great for the whole “Mature, Stable, Healthy Adult” thing.
Why? Because at the end of the week, when you take stock of the days behind you, you realize you really did:
1) Wear pajamas all day. Every day. And you did notwear other items of clothing one just doesn’t have to bother with when nobody else is around. (Ahem. The ladies understand. Which really calls for a Braveheart-ish show of solidarity: “Freedom!”)
2) Single-handedly finance an entire Columbian village through coffee consumption. One of my more philanthropic activities of the week, I suppose. Although my dentist may not approve.**
3) Use a chip clip to put up my hair. This has already been discussed at length on Facebook. Which led to much nostalgia about the demise of the banana clip.
4) Forget how to put contacts in. Seriously. That first Monday back in civilization, I had to reteach my eyes to wear the things. And can I just ask for the millionth time, how crazy is it that we stick pieces of plastic in our eyes to help ourselves see?
5) Run more and faster in those seven days going to check my mail than I have since high school P.E. class. Because A) I didn’t want to be seen, and B) I really didn’t want to be seen. See point 1.
6) Take frequent writing breaks to experiment with all the lipstick colors I’m never brave enough to wear in public.*** For the record, Vamp Red is especially flattering when accompanied by NO other makeup.
7) Practice walking in high heels. I actually do this a lot, not just when I’m holed up writing. Apparently I’m out to disprove the old “practice makes perfect” saying.
8) Water my plants. Oh wait, that’s actually a really good thing. And a rare thing. FYI, I do not consider taking care of my plants practice for having kids one day. Because if I did…well, I wouldn’t trust myself to have kids.
Okay, mates,**** what crazy things do you find yourself doing when you’ve been alone too long?
*There are two ways to look at this: I’m either personality-less or special. I’m not sure which is the better option.
**Although the fact that I can now truthfully say I have a dentist speaks volumes of my recent attempts at adulthood. Basically, that effort alone negates every other ridiculous admission in this post.
***So you might ask why I even own said red lipstick and other outrageous colors. That would be one of life’s unanswerable questions, right up there with why baby carrots taste so much better than regular carrots.
****I got a wedding invitation from a friend in England the other day. I’m feeling British.
Comments 30
Lol! I really haven’t truly been in that position for a long time–or ever, really. There is usually at least one child or a husband around at some point in each day. But in the coming months, this might be an issue. I know I’m with you on the wear pjs (and not other things) all day every day (I do that sometimes on the weekends, even with the others at home!), but we’ll have to see what other quirks surface.
Well, here’s hoping you get some good writing time in coming months…whether it’s with or without people around. 🙂
So funny, I want a picture of vamp red! I’m thinking that would look awesome one you 🙂 I’m an introvert, until I’m alone to long. Then I remember I really love people.
Haha, I could provide a photo of vamp red, but even I might have slightly too much pride to post a photo of myself with vamp red and NO other makeup. Because that look was…shall we say…not a pretty sight.
I’m an extrovert, so no matter how many times I say I’m not leaving the house, I lie. My neighbor calls to see if I’m okay if I haven’t left the house by noon. lol Even though I’ve made a commitment to 2k a day, sometimes I don’t get it until I’ve returned home from wherever.
Funny about your neighbor, Pat. And 2K a day is an impressive goal!
Hahahaha!! LOVED this post, Melissa. I am now on a deadline and currently planning when to shut myself off for a week like you did – no interaction except the cats and enough coffee to fill the Grand Canyon. I think I’ll take this post along for comic relief and a reminder to take breaks. Often.
Thanks, Donna…may the comic relief support your writing sprint, whenever that happens to be. And oh yes, the coffee. I tend to switch between coffee and pop (or soda for the non-Midwesterners), BUT I just need to say this: For four weeks straight, I have drank (drunk? I don’t know) eight glasses of water a day. This is milestone right up there with getting married I’m sure!
You. Are. Brilliant. And hilarious. And yeah, Braveheart freedom all the way. I work from home. I know. 😉
When I’m alone, and good music comes on, I bust a move. Like crazy, ya’ll. And it looks reeeeee-diculous. Although you know, I’d probably do that if others were around too. Just not the same extent. But I still like to make a fool of myself in public. We’ll call it a gift.
Oh you lucky work-from-home girl. 🙂
I want to see this ridiculous dancing. As for the gift of making a fool of yourself in public, I might’ve been “blessed” with that one, too.
Sounds like your week was productive and that you learned some important things, Melissa, such as how versatile a Chip Clip can be. 🙂
It was incredibly productive, Keli, even if I was starting to go a little “Animal from the Muppets” by the end of it. In looks and mannerisms. 🙂
My husband and daughter used to leave for a week-and-a-half every year to work at a church gathering in our old home state of SC. (I couldn’t be gone from my job for that long, so I stayed at home.) I took the time to catch up on my scrapbooking, watch every movie I thought my husband wouldn’t like from Netflix, and experiment in the kitchen! No joke – I wasn’t completely alone during that time (I did have to go to work) but every night I’d come home and cook some new dish!
(And also: FREEEDOM! Yes!)
Ha, my favorite part of that comment (other than the all-caps freedom–lol!) was you watching all the movies your husband wouldn’t like. Very nice of you to watch them when he was gone rather than forcing him to watch them with you. 🙂
You are most definitely NOT personality-less, Melissa! This blog always puts a smile on my face – hence that is an obvious reflection on you, and I think you have a great presence around the social media world. 🙂
Thanks, Rissi. Smiles on faces are good things. 🙂
Friend, I love you.
You are laugh-out-loud hysterical, whether you’re alone or in a group.
When I’m alone, I let my hair dry without blow drying it. Wait, I do that even if I’m going out.
I sing out loud … nope, I do that if people are around, too.
I dance in the kitchen … yeah, that too …
My life is no different with or without an audience.
Yay, I love that you are fun and carefree with or without people around. And I love you, too, my friend. Hope you’re tearing up Blue Ridge in a good way. 🙂
I dance in the kitchen too, and I watch whatever movie I want!!
And I go Braveheart, but not for long, because if I do, someone always comes to the door.
“Alone too long” for me can’t be more than 2 days, because of a house full of people. But one thing I do when I am alone? Call friends who live far away and are worthy of an hour long phone call with no interruptions.
Along Braveheart lines, I might’ve had to hide from the UPS guy last week when he stopped by last week…though, confession, I momentarily considering answering the door as is.
“It’s all for nothing if you don’t have freedom.”
I’m around people all day, but I try not to leave my house during the week. I’m just too dang tired. After work, I have to sit at my computer and talk to my imaginary people.
Umm, when I’m alone…really alone, I’ve been known to practice hip hop dance moves. For a grace-less person, this is not something I’d subject to public viewing.
Ah Ah Ah, I need to see these hip-hop moves, Lisa. For real. ACFW. I demand it. 🙂
I love the stay in your cozy jammies & robe thing. Had to get up early & go to work for so many years that now when I can linger and work comfortably, it’s such a treat.
Twice I’ve visited friends in the Irish Wicklow Mtns. where they still have a major gorgeous site where they actually filmed Braveheart & clamber over stream & rustic stone bridge there, let brisk winds whisk through my flowing locks, and cry “Freedom-m-m” and then go live it.
You have been to soooo many places, Delores!
Oh Melissa, you make me chuckle. You have this wonderful sense of whimsy, which is simply delightful.
And you do know that they’ve found that we can be both introvert & extrovert, says one who thinks he’s an introvert but loves meeting strangers and public speaking. Huh!
Enjoy your week wearing clothes, Melissa.
Haha, I will admit, there is something refreshing about wearing real clothes and actually going out into the world. 🙂
I think I’m there with you on being both an introvert and extrovert. I tend to slide either way depending on the day.
Alone? What is alone???? I am rarely alone, but if I was, I’m sure I would eat the pantry. 🙂
Love it!
Why did I not read this post eleven days ago?!?! 🙂 You’re funny! You have such a gift for bringing us along with you on the journey. 🙂
Haha, thanks, Gabe. 🙂