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I was reflecting to a friend the other day about how much I’ve loved 2012. I mean, the year started out kind of wobbly. I might’ve used words like “blah” and “drag” and “trainwreck” to describe last winter. Pretty sure I even threw out a “blasé” at some point. Not entirely sure what it means, but it felt right.
But things got kind of awesome in the spring and even better in the summer and then autumn always makes me happy so…yeah, for the most part, 2012 has kinda rocked.
And when I was talking with my friend, I found myself saying, “I just really feel like God loves me lately. You know?” However, as the words came out of my mouth, they hit me wrong. Couldn’t figure out why at the time, but I’ve done a little pondering since…
Here’s the thing: Sometimes it honestly seems like God is going out of his way to show He loves me. You’ve had those weeks or days or moments, too, right? And in those seasons when life rocks, heck yeah, I believe it…He loves me.
But there’s a danger there. Because when I start directly correlating the level of awesomeness of my current circumstances to the level of God’s love, I totally sell Him short.
Bottom line: I don’t think He has levels of love. I think He loved me just as much at this time last year when life seemed crappy as He does today.
He loved me just as much when I felt stung by rejection.
Burned by stress.
Oblivious to the next step.
Lonely.
I might feel His love more some days than others, but I’ll never be loved more or less from one day to the next.
And I have to remember this, too: That He’s shown His love in much huger ways than a good year. There’s that whole grace thing, for one. Atonement. Forgiveness. Sacrifice. Eternity.
That’s love. Love love. Life’s best and possibly only constant.
I know, kind of random today, but I couldn’t get away from this “love” thing long enough to come up with a more straightforward post. I don’t know what kind of season you’re in—stellar or sucky. But I know you’re loved. That can sound all sorts of trite. But it’s also all sorts of true.
What do you think? Do you find it easy to tie your circumstances to how you feel about God’s love? How’s your 2012 been? How do you remind yourself of God’s love in the not-so-cool seasons in life?
Comments 27
Thank you for this post. So often I forget and feel God has forgotten me…it has NOT been a great year for me. I know in my heart that He loves me and is with me at all times, yet this season in the desert gets me to take my eyes off HIM. And therein lies the problem.
Life will get better. But God is always good…even in the desert.
Sherrinda, I’m sorry it’s not been a great year. I have a couple friends who would definitely say the same. Hoping for a better 2013 for you, friend.
I think that is the trap that we all fall into. If things are going well, I believe God loves me. If things aren’t so hot, then maybe I’ve fallen out of favor or He’s overlooked me or something. I walked through some very dark years believing this. But I came to a point where realized I had to choose what to believe. Either God loved me or He didn’t. Period. It was life-changing to choose to believe the truth of His unfailing love in all my ups an downs. Was my 2012 great? Not horrible, but not a banner year. And one of the ways God reminded me of His love was to end it with a Bible study about walking with Him through the desert that has confirmed more deeply that His love for me is extravagant, even when my circumstances are difficult and barren.
I love what you said–it’s a choice. That’s so true and it’s also empowering in those moments when you feel like there’s nothing you can do about your circumstances. You can still choose what to believe in those seasons. Not that’s easy by any means. His love IS extravagant…possibly the very best word to describe it!
“But there’s a danger there. Because when I start directly correlating the level of awesomeness of my current circumstances to the level of God’s love, I totally sell Him short.”
Wow. Really good point you make here. Going to be ruminating on this today.
Thanks for stopping by, Beth! Enjoy the rumination. 🙂
2012 was absolutely the best for me! And like you, it started off kind of rocky, and I totally know what you mean about feeling God’s love more at times. But, in my heart, I know that God loves me the same all the time and nothing I do or don’t do will change that. I think sometimes we equate God’s love with His timing. Most of the time His timing isn’t ours, but it is perfect. I know if I’d gotten published when I wanted to, I would now be embarrassed because my book was nowhere ready. 🙂
Hmm, why would you say your 2012 was the best, Pat?! Haha! Yes, you’ve had a rockin’ year and I’m over-the-moon happy for you. That’s an interesting point…equating God’s love with His timing. When I know He loves me, then I’m better able to trust His timing.
You know, I don’t really even know how to say this, but I actually feel most loved when I’m in the yuckyiest (is it a word?) seasons of my life. When I’m in those rocky, rough, disgusting places, it’s there that I feel God working in me the most. It’s there that I feel His love surround me and pull me up and out of the pit I’ve dug for myself. It’s there that I see His character and faithfulness. I definitely feel His love when things are going well – but I usually seek Him out more when they’re not, so maybe it’s more about my level of awareness of Him when I’m down that makes me feel His love. So, in those moments when we’ve (He and I) climbed to the top of a peak, and I look back and see how far we’ve come from that pit, my rejoicing know no bounds – but then I start to stumble down the mountain, because I’ve taken my eyes off Him, and I don’t usually seek Him out until I’ve fallen into another pit, then we start all over again. And, to answer your question, 2012 has been A.MAZ.ING. 🙂
I think that is an awesome way to be, Gabe…able to feel most loved in the yucky times. I think I tend to end up in the same cycle you describe…
Part of what has made my 2012 fabulous is getting to know amazing people like you. You have this sweet spirit I soooo incredibly admire…and want to emulate. 🙂
Hi Melissa, 🙂
Just watched the movie “Valentine’s Day” last night while hubs was out playing ball. Yeah, totally chick flick girly night moment. Anyway, couldn’t help but think how they (most of the characters) had love all wrong. There were some great “lines” in the movie, but little truth. And words that tickle don’t last, but like the sensation you feel when you’re tickled. Fun for a few seconds [for those who don’t hate to be tickled, anyway] but yeah. So as I was saying, I liked how you talk about perspective and vantage point. Because from the place where the One who invented Love, God’s not pushing any kind of “Super-charge” button when and if he feels like it. Thankfully. Because then it would all come down to feelings and experiences and Love is so much more than that. So much.
Wrote a little love story on my blog today for Fiction Friday. Very short. Just a Christmas ditty for fun. Peruse at your leisure! 🙂 -Raj
Okay, everybody, here’s a plug for Raj’s blog…loved her story today!
I watched Valentine’s Day, too, and it’s funny…I had the exact same reaction. Not sure any of the love stories actually had all that much to do with love-love, the real thing. And I love your “super-charge” button point…yeah, that’s not God.
I LOVE this post (heh).
And yes, yes, yes, I totally agree!! God’s love doesn’t grow or change. Maybe there are times he reaches out to us, works things out in a way we just KNOW it’s him…but even in the bad times, he loves us. What a simple yet poignant truth, isn’t it?
And 2012 was pretty much an awesome year for me!! Not only did I get the BEST critique partner EVER, I got to attend my first big writer’s conference and meet so many wonderful kindred spirits, I got to attend SC, and I just felt this knowing in my heart that God’s got something great in store. Here’s to REJOICE-ing in 2013. 😉
Simple, yet poignant truths are some of the best. 🙂
Um YES can I just agree with you that part of the awesomeness of 2012 was connecting with the most amazing CP. And yeah…God’s for sure got something great in store for you…like a visit from moi in February. Haha! Love ya, friend.
Love your post today!
I was raised in an emotionally driven church and often felt like ‘what’s wrong with me?’ because I didn’t FEEL the Spirit moving during the service. A few years back I finally realized I can’t depend on my feelings or circumstances. I needed to depend on God’s Word. To trust it completely, even when I felt nothing.
It’s made all the difference in the world because now I can trust God more fully in knowing His Word is true no matter what I feel. I know He loves me because HE SAID He does, not because I can feel it. 🙂
That’s awesome, Cathy. Yeah, I think it can get dangerous when we’re basing our view of God and His love on what we’re feeling. Not that feelings can’t be great…they can. And I love those moments when I really DO feel God’s love…but as Raj said above, love and especially God’s love is so much more than feelings.
This is an awesome post, Melissa. Love your heart here.
No matter what season I am in, I am trusting God. I know that His love for me is always right there – during the rain or the drought.
2012 has been a good year for me even though it has ended in a season of pain – pain of loss, and physical pain and surgery. God showed me a few things recently. I found the blessing through my pain.
I’m looking forward to 2013.
Thanks, Loree. I’m so sorry about the pain of the past couple months…you’ve had a lot to deal with, that’s for sure. But how awesome that God has met you there and shown you the blessings in the midst of it all. I hope you recover quickly!
I’ve been there. In that dark place when you feel like God has abandoned you. When tragedy strikes you think that God’s love for you has changed. When I was at the lowest point in my life when I tried to turn from God, I couldn’t. And as much as I tried, I couldn’t get the cross out of my head. I couldn’t forget that on Calvary God suffered great tragedy at the loss of His only Son. The worse part was it was because of me. Those nails were meant for me. It reminds me of this hymn: How deep the Father’s love for us /How vast beyond all measure/That He would give His only Son/To make a wretch His treasure.
I think I might know what “dark place” you’re talking about in your life, Mel. I can’t imagine going through that…but you and your faith are amazing to me. I love that picture of God refusing to let go of you. And I love that song, too.
Okay, after the long week and long day today, I so needed to hear this! Because yeah, it’s so so so true but so easy to overlook!
Hope you had a yoga-wearing drive today and a great weekend, friend!
Sorry about the long week and day, but hopefully you’ve had a nice and restful weekend. And oh yes, the yoga pants made my drive comfy. Yesterday and this afternoon I reverted even further…pajama pants. Happiness. 🙂
How true your words are Melissa. I had a summer of not knowing what job I would have in the fall. I had already been offered a teaching position in a community 20 minutes from my home but it was part-time. My own children’s school had a position open but they didn’t interview until August…..so I waited. I wanted that job so bad. I didn’t get it. I dont know the reasons but I do know God sometimes shows His love to us by not giving us what we think we want. I am sure I will understand this better through the years but right now I trust that God knows what is best for my family because of His great love.
-Melissa
Wow, I’m sorry about the job situation, Melissa. I feel like one of the biggest but most vital hurdles as a Christian is surrendering to the fact that we aren’t always going to get the big picture of why God does what he does…and what he doesn’t, like sometimes not giving us what I want. The not understanding why part grates me sometimes…but when I’m convinced of his love, then, like you said, I can trust that he knows best. Not easy…as I’m sure you’ve been experiencing. Praying and hoping the job of your dreams is right around the corner…
2010-11 were ridiculously, utterly, amazingly AWFUL.
I crawled to the feet of Jesus and curled up in a ball.
Anything after that has been icing with sprinkles, whipped cream and a big giant sparkle candle on top.
Jennifer, friend, sorry about 2010-11. Hooray for them being behind you. But I love your picture of the time since…may 2013 be even more cake-like! 🙂
Awesome post, Melissa!
Been feeling a little “blah” about some things myself lately, as the holidays REALLY came up fast on me this year, and I’m usually more excited in anticipating the holidays by now, but I’m getting there. And it’s nice to know God’s already there, with complete love and peace, no matter what day of the year it is.
Hope you have a fantastic Christmas!