This is what happens when you spend four days underground.

become-a-writer-they-said

My writing room actually looks nothing like this. If it did, I’d be pretty tempted to just have a bonfire and start over.

About a year ago, I spent an entire week writing. Seven days. Seven days of basically withdrawing from society. Yeats could’ve written a poem about me. (The dude wrote four hermit poems. I have no idea why I know this.)

Well, last week, though I wasn’t able to play hermit for a full week, I did hide out writing for four days. This means two things:

a) I did an insane amount of writing!

b) Due to my insane amount of writing, I did not have time to plunk out a blog.

But then I thought, What ho! Didn’t I once write a post about what it’s like to spend a ridiculous amount of time alone writing?

And so today I’m reposting that original entry. I’m really sorry if you’ve been a long-term reader and happen to remember it. Although, hey, if you DO remember it, then I can feel good about the effectiveness of the post. Plus, I added updates. So basically, it’s a score either way. Enjoy! Again!

The perils of solitude. Based on actual events. (Complete with 2014 updates.)

Two weeks ago today I embarked on a slightly insane mission called “Melissa spends an entire week writing and doesn’t leave her house.”

Now, here’s the thing: We’ve never really been able to figure out whether I’m an introvert or extrovert. And by we I mean me and every personality test I’ve ever taken. I stump Myers-Briggs, y’all.

But even if a person is the most introverted of all introverts, seven days alone is a little too much. Or a lot. Although it’s great for the writing productivity, it’s not so great for the whole “Mature, Stable, Healthy Adult” thing.

Why? Because at the end of the week, when you take stock of the days behind you, you realize you really did:

 

1) Wear pajamas all day. Every day. And you did not wear other items of clothing one just doesn’t have to bother with when nobody else is around. (Ahem. The ladies understand. Which really calls for a Braveheart-ish show of solidarity: “Freedom!”)

2014 Update: Yep. Just as fabulously freeing as last year.

 

2) Single-handedly finance an entire Columbian village through coffee consumption. One of my more philanthropic activities of the week, I suppose. Although my dentist may not approve.

2014 Update: And this time, I financed the whole village in only four days.

 

3) Use a chip clip to put up my hair. This has already been discussed at length on Facebook. Which led to much nostalgia about the demise of the banana clip.

2014 Update: I’ve lost ALL my chip clips since last year. How does this happen?

 

4) Forget how to put contacts in. Seriously. That first Monday back in civilization, I had to reteach my eyes to wear the things. And can I just ask for the millionth time, how crazy is it that we stick pieces of plastic in our eyes to help ourselves see?

2014 Update: At the time of this writing, I haven’t even tried putting my contacts in again. I have, however, fallen asleep in my glasses four nights in a row.

 

5) Run more and faster in those seven days going to check my mail than I have since high school P.E. class. Because A) I didn’t want to be seen, and B) I really didn’t want to be seen. See point 1.

2014 Update: Maybe this is the key to finally becoming a runner. Don’t dress appropriately. Then I’ll never want to be seen. Hence, I’ll run fast.

 

6) Take frequent writing breaks to experiment with all the lipstick colors I’m never brave enough to wear in public. For the record, Vamp Red is especially flattering when accompanied by NO other makeup.

2014 Update: Totally didn’t do this this year. Because a person only needs to see herself in Vamp Red once to know IT DOESN’T WORK.

 

7) Practice walking in high heels. I actually do this a lot, not just when I’m holed up writing. Apparently I’m out to disprove the old “practice makes perfect” saying.

2014 Update: Uh yeah, I do this generally once a week. So honestly, it’s not really deserving of a spot on this list, but whatevs.

 

8) Water my plants. Oh wait, that’s actually a really good thing. And a rare thing. FYI, I do not consider taking care of my plants practice for having kids one day. Because if I did…well, I wouldn’t trust myself to have kids.

2014 Update: Every plant I had last year is still alive this year. I know I said I do not consider plant care practice for child care, but if I did, my kids would totally survive. Well, for a year, at least.

What crazy things do you find yourself doing when you’ve been alone too long?

Be Sociable, Share!

    Comments 18

    1. Love it. And, yes, I do remember this post. As soon as I started reading, I thought (with a chuckle), the heels! She spent the week practicing walking in heels. Without her contacts. In her pajamas. Probably with a coffee mug in her hand. Clearly talented. 🙂

      I actually love being alone. So, I probably do more crazy stuff when I’m with people for too long. 🙂 Like tripping into those awkward “I carried a watermelon” moments (from Dirty Dancing). Sigh.

      1. Post
        Author

        Haha, yes, thank you for thinking my week of walking in heels without contacts and in pajamas while holding a coffee mug is a sign of talent rather than insanity. 🙂 🙂

        I love being alone too…and around people…somebody told me there’s such a thing as an ambivert, which is someone who’s right in between introvert and extrovert. That HAS to be me. But rest assured, you are no the only one who has tripped in public…if it makes you fell better, I will admit that I have tripped on stage during not one, but two different weddings.

      1. Post
        Author
    2. Loved this! By the way, I thought I was the only person in the world to stump Myers-Briggs. We must be kindred spirits! (Lol!) when I was in college, we had to take it for a few different classes. Every. Single. Time. I was half and half for every personality type. The professors all said, “Well, if you took the *real* one with hundreds of questions, you’d get your *real* personality type. That wouldn’t happen on the *real* one.” Later on, in a 400-level Organizational Psychology class, we took the *real* one. Guess what. I broke Myers-Briggs. I don’t know if I have two personalities, am just really good at being a Gemini (although I really know nothing about astrology), or (as I like to think) God just made me this way so I can appreciate more types of people (???). (Because who wants to be a train wreck?)

      By the way, I’m glad you’ve done a bunch of writing. That will eventually equate into much better lock-the-door, leave-Momma-alone, go-see-Daddy bathtub reading time for me! 🙂

      1. Post
        Author

        Yay for being kindred spirits personality-wise! 🙂 Sounds like we’ve had the same exact experience with personality tests. And because of that, I often shake my head and sigh if I’m asked to do a personality test…I always wanna say, “You don’t understand, I either a) have no personality or b) have too many!”

        But I will say this: We had to do a retreat once at work and a guy made us do a personality test…it had like four different categories you could fall into. Before we took the test, I told him my experience with past tests…and he said talk to him again after the test. So I took it, told him the outcome–which, once again, was pretty straight down the middle…but I did lean slightly to one category (don’t even remember what the category was called). And he said people who fall into that category are generally people who are adaptable and can adjust to whatever situation they’re put in…and he said that’s why I always stump Myers-Briggs…because I adjust to whatever circumstance I’m in.

        Sooo…maybe you’re that same personality? Although, this isn’t a very helpful story for you because I have no idea what that test was or what the name of the personality category was. LOL!

    3. I do remember this. And I’m still wondering why in the world anyone would practice walking in heels. It doesn’t help. Oh, btw, I still have a couple of banana clips. 🙂 So glad you got some writing done. And now I’ve got to get back to it!

      1. Post
        Author
    4. Isn’t this the blog post that inspired a conversation about banana clips and having a ’70s night at ACFW?!?! 🙂 Which, in my opinion, could have totally happened on genre night if all of us write in the ’70s era. 🙂

      In all honesty, I’ve only slept alone in a house two nights in my life (when I was in high school) and I have no idea what I’d do alone. I’m definitely an extrovert, with some latent introvert tendencies (the thought of four days to myself gives me an excitement I can’t quite describe). 🙂 But I think that’s less about being an introvert and more about being a mom of four kiddos. 🙂 So happy your time was productive!

      1. Post
        Author

        I think it just might have inspired that ACFW conversation. LOL!

        Haha, I bet with four kids, alone time sounds like a luxury. I love being alone…but I also love being around people…and I totally don’t mind sleeping in a house alone UNLESS it’s stormy and windy and something is creaking outside…which was my experience Saturday night. The good thing was, I was writing a really sad scene, so the weather helped set the tone. 🙂

      1. Post
        Author
    5. Love this post, Melissa! Made me smile (especially the chip clip thing).

      When I’ve been alone too long, I wake our new-ish cat. She’s always up for playing “Where’s the kitty?” 🙂 Ahhh….it’s the small things.

      1. Post
        Author
      1. Post
        Author
      1. Post
        Author

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *