This is a post mainly for writers who are attending the ACFW Conference next week. However, for those of you who aren’t writers or are not attending ACFW, it’s possible you might still find a morsel of usefulness in this post…IF you have plans to stalk someone at anytime in the near future.* So feel free to keep reading.
One of my favorite things about ACFW is the chance to meet in person authors whose books I love. For instance, last year Becky Wade and Anne Mateer came up to me after breakfast on Friday morning and I’m pretty sure I gushed like water through a busted dam when we chatted. And I like to follow around Susan May Warren and Rachel Hauck as if we’re in an endless game of “Follow the Leader.”
I reeeeally like meeting authors. I know other people do, too. And we’ve joked about how tempting it is to just rush up to our author faves and pour out our admiration in stutters and awkward hugs and requests for photos…
Which, frankly, may be a little scary for said authors. Which led me to contemplate: Might it be good to add a little subtlety to our author stalking efforts? A little finesse? With some pre-planning, I think it’s possible. So here we go:
Melissa’s Top Five Ways to Stealthily Stalk & Meet Your Favorite Author at ACFW (or any writing event):
1. The “Oh, wow, imagine that?” Maneuver
This is one of the simplest moves by far. Here’s what you do: Take care to spot your favorite author sitting at a table during meal time. Casually wander by the table, note an empty seat, look around as if weighing your options, then ask to sit at the table. Once you’re situated, turn to the author and with practiced, wide-eyed surprise, exclaim, “Oh wow, you’re [insert author name]. Imagine that! I’m so pleased to meet you.”
This also works well at the elevator if you can “just happen” to slip into the same elevator as the author.
2. The Starbucks Line Convo
There are two pros to this one: Conversation with an author, yes, and coffee. It’s simple: Hang out in the hotel Starbucks until your favorite author shows up. Get in line behind the author. Start talking. Boom, done.
3. The Non-flirty Schoolgirl/boy Move
A move as old as time. Wind up in a hallway or classroom or wherever with your favorite author. Wait until you’re only a couple feet away…and drop all your stuff. If the author is cool, he/she will bend down to help you pick it up. You’re good to go.
Now, I felt compelled to add the “non-flirty” clause because I’m pretty sure this move originated in a high school hallway somewhere by a schoolgirl trying to catch her crush’s eye. And your goal here is not a date to Homecoming. However, IF you and the author are both available and you’re having a good hair day, well then hey, go for it, pour on the flirt. It’ll be a great story for your grandchildren.
4. The Brown-Noser
If your author happens to be teaching a class at the conference, well, hello, you need to be in that class. And then after class, stick around. Wait until the teacher is free. Ask a question or simply tell the author how much you appreciated the class. If you really want to go all out as the perfect student, give him/her an apple.
5. The Kronk
And finally, if all else fails, this:
(No, no, no, no, no, I’m not suggesting trapping an author in a bag and dropping him in a river. I wish only for us to learn from Kronk’s stealthy, sneaking around skills.)
All right, are you going to ACFW? If so, who are you excited to meet? And…are you going to attempt any of the above? If you’re not going, well…after this post, you’re probably feeling pretty good about that fact right about now.
*Um, I realize there are actual, dangerous stalkers out in the world. If this is something I shouldn’t be joking about, I’m sorry.
Comments 31
LOL! I will keep these all of in mind as I go to my first ACFW conference this month. So excited. I will probably use the “Oh wow, imagine that” move on you…te he he.
Oh, I can’t wait to meet you in person, Loree!! 🙂
Loree! Look me up when you’re there!
I am so, so sad to miss everyone this year! I do still stalk my favorite authors. And I love meeting aspiring ones, too! In fact, I’m so thankful to Becky Wade for suggesting we come over and introduce ourselves to you. That has sparked such a lovely friendship! ACFW is the best for doing that. 🙂 Enjoy being the author this time around!
I’m sad you’re not going to be there. *frowny face* Next year?? And I was so delighted to get to meet you and Becky. I think the BHP author family is one of the friendliest groups of people ever. And you and Becky have both been such a blessing to me!
this is hilarious! great ideas, Mtagg. So…just to be clear…we should NOT follow our favorite author, say Francine Rivers, into a bathroom to get our book signed? Oops. Okay, got it! See you soon!!
HA ummm well to be completely honest, if someone followed ME into a bathroom to get a book signed, I would waffle between REALLY?! and admiration at their bravery. See you next week!
I’ll meet you in the bathroom then 😉
LOL!!
Oh, I am so not that subtle. Last year I found a friend who knew the authors I wanted to meet and begged an introduction. She then talked up my writing to said authors… unexpected bonus! LOL
And what do you mean you’re going to miss everyone, Anne? o_0
Haha, I love that you brushed off subtlety and stalked to your heart’s content…well, second-hand stalked, I guess, since you were going through a friend.
Oh, wow, I don’t feel nearly so bad about missing out this year. LOL
But we will miss you, Sandra! There’s already been talk of reenacting your dramatic reading of Lisa Jordan’s kissing scene…it just won’t feel right without you. 🙂
Melissa, you always get me laughing! That’s one reason why I’m eager to read your book. I’m sure it won’t disappoint on the laugh-o-meter.
Thanks, Andrea! I hope the book makes you laugh. 🙂
Oh goodness this is funny 🙂 Great techniques… especially the hallway move… I am pretty sure I tried this in high school!
Haven’t we all, Lisa. Haven’t we all. Although, I have to be honest: I tend to just drop stuff without even trying. Heheh…so that move is particularly good for people who are naturally clumsy.
I have to confess to trying #1 a time or two. In actuality, I’m so clueless, usually a friend grabs me afterward and says, “Do you KNOW who you were talking to?” Last year I shared a lovely meal with a famous author, but I’m so bad with names–I wasn’t aware I should be acting all fan-girl.
LOL you are so not alone. One year, I talked to an author for probably 10 minutes in the bookstore about all these books I was excited to buy…NOT realizing her book was on the same shelf and I hadn’t even mentioned it. Once I did finally realize who she was, I bought two of her books. 🙂
I’m a scary stalker. I see them and then I walk over, but I can’t get the nerve to say anything or think of anything worthy to say to them, so I’m just this strange person that walks up to them, standsa about 8 feet away and for like 10 minutes saying absolutely nothing and then disappearing into the crowd…to come back hours later and do it again.
They probably have nightmares about me!
Hehehe…picturing this in my head…so much giggling. 🙂
I’m so not brave when I’m stalking. I like to stalk from a safe distance, which is probably even creepier. LOL.
HA oh yes…maybe it really is better just to openly stalk. Now I’m torn.
I have an earned Ph.D in “I CANNOT Believe You Did That!”
I refuse, I say, REFUSE to drool, weep or lose it over famous people. Unless you’re Magua, then all bets are OFF. I’m the one who boldly told an actual film/television actor I wasn’t impressed with celebrity. You should have heard the crickets on the phone!!
Nope,I won’t be saying that again. To him.
If Laura Frantz and Lori Benton were actually going to ACFW this year, I would laugh at all my aforementioned hypocrisy and find myself rocking in a corner or tip toe-ing down the hall after them.
Or I’d just go up and say hello.
It all comes down to one of my totally overused phrases, but it’s true. If I can survive Bolivian airport security,(and meeting a pig in a ditch while the effects of no Imodium in my system, umm, uh…) I can survive walking up to Jeanette Windle, Carla Laureano, Beth Vogt or Dee Henderson and saying hello.
Then again, remind me of these words next week. And then laugh yourselves silly.
Ha, you are funny, Jennifer! I think I would have seriously enjoyed listening in on that conversation with the actor.
It really is probably best just to walk up to authors and say hi. But I don’t know, attempting to stealthily stalk them is fun, too. So if you decide not to go the simple “walk up and greet” route, just remember, dropping your stuff or lingering in a coffeeshop works really well, too. 🙂
Brilliant fun post, as usual, Melissa. Great ideas. 😉
So long as it’s “friendly stalking,” stalking is A-Okay.
Friendly Stalking. I like that. 🙂
I just accidentally take said famous person’s seat, eat their dessert, and then shrink away in mortified silence. *ask me at conference who I did that to* 😛
Ahhh, I NEED to hear this story. So when we meet up in the bathroom, promise to tell it!!
Thank you for adding an extra spark to my Tuesday morning, Melissa.
How about a combination of 2 & 3 plus offer to buy author coffee? Cool?
I’d love to meet Mr Peretti on Sunday night. I’ll be the one holding the 25 year old copy of This Present Darkness pushing off the masses who rush him between courses trying to avoid crashing into the waiter who’s about to serve his meal! Do you think he’ll mind?
Haha, yes, the combo move would be hugely successful, I’m sure!
Ooh, is Frank Peretti coming to the gala? That WOULD be cool to meet him. I imagine it’d be somewhat similar to meeting Ted Dekker…which I did once. And I was starstruck. Best part…my sister was with me and he asked if we were twins. She’s ten years younger than me. I decided it was a compliment. 🙂