…because OF COURSE I was going to write a post about Needtobreathe eventually…
Earlier this summer I saw my favorite band in concert. Twice.
And when I say “favorite” I mean the band I love so much I can’t even really talk about it with any semblance of self-control. I’m reduced to unintelligible gushing. I mean…the whole southern rock infused with folk infused with anthem vibe…the fun yet vulnerable metaphor-laced lyrics…their beyond entertaining stage presence…
Yeah, I really wasn’t joking about the gushing.
Anyway, I saw these guys in concert (again, twice…in one week) and as I watched (i.e. swooned), I couldn’t stop thinking about how much fun it’d be…standing up on a stage, singing and playing your heart out, traveling from city to city, state to state, making people happy by doing what you love. All my teenage dreams of being in a band resurfaced. Every restless tendency in me snapped to attention. Because, man, it just looked so fun.
But…
But in these weeks following the concert as I’ve wistfully sighed about what it might be like to be Needtobreathe, I’ve also had the gradual realization that maybe, just possibly, the band has its not-as-fun times. They probably have days where they get sick of waking up in a new state, singing the same songs all over again, taking endless photos with crazy fans, being away from their families. They probably get tired. And probably, sometimes, the dream feels a little blah.
Little confession: Writing stories has had its blah moments for me in the past few months.
My confidence has taken a hit as I’ve struggled through my third book. I’ve too easily sunk into comparing myself to other writers. I’ve been tired and I’ve had trouble balancing my two lives (writing and working fulltime). Writing has felt, in many ways, like slogging through mud.
And I would bet I’m not the only person living her dream who has those “everything feels beige” days. I bet parents, as much as they love their children, some days just want to chuck it all and run off to Hawaii and leave their kids to fend for themselves. I bet presidents sometimes go to bed at night wishing for the day when their hardest decision was what sitcom to relax to on a weeknight. I bet doctors and teachers and [insert your profession/dream/situation of choice] have moments where the dream or goal loses a little of its sparkle.
Probably pretty similar to how romance or relationships can have their “wait, this isn’t as thrilling as it once was” moments.
Rivers in the Wasteland is Needtobreathe’s newest album. And also the greatest album ever. FOR REAL.
And yet, Needtobreathe keeps making music. (THANK THE LORD!)
I keep writing books.
People keep on keeping on.
And maybe…
Maybe it’s keeping on through the blah, uninspired days that separates dreaming a dream from living a dream.
My sister asked me something interesting recently. She said, “Melissa, is writing still fun?”
And I honestly had to think. Yeah, it has its fun days, for sure. I recently finished a novella and I could not stop smiling as I wrote those last scenes. They were everything I wanted them to be and I felt AWESOME, especially as I thought about readers eventually reading them. When I turned it in to my publisher, I felt exactly how I imagined I would when I dreamt about writing books instead of, well, writing them.
But for every fun scene, I tend to have about five or six really, really, REALLY hard ones. Writing is draining, emotionally and physically, believe it or not. Deadlines and sales and marketing and the feeling that I’m never doing enough…that’s all a very real part of the writing life. And to pretend it’s not would be silly.
But I want to live this dream. And I think living it means digging into the trenches—of my heart, my energy, my time—rather than floating on the surface, staying where it’s easy, only acknowledging the happy parts.
The truth about the writing life is it comes in random lulls and choppy waves, maybe even the occasional riptide. And just like bumpy waters make for a more thrilling boat ride, I think the challenges of writing—and pushing through the hard days, the blah days, the “this isn’t what I expected” days—are what take this journey from just-okay smooth sailing to heart-stirring adventure.
How about you? Are you living a dream? How do you deal with the blah days?
Giveaway Time!
Because I love Needtobreathe SO much, I have to spread the joy. I’m giving away one copy of their newest album (CD or digital, your choice), Rivers in the Wasteland, to one winner. This is my favorite album ever! Another winner will receive a copy of Breaking Out of a Broken System, which is written by Needtobreathe’s bassist (Seth Bolt) and his brother (Chandler Bolt). It’s an awesome book…and I LOVE that all the profits from book sales are going to Palmetto Medical Initiative. Very cool. Learn more about the book here.
Comments 38
First of all let me tell you I stayed up until 1 AM finishing Here to Stay, and I worked all weekend and needed my sleep. Great story!
I never heard of this group together. I’ll have to check them out. Music helps get me out of my blah days, and of course prayer. Don’t give up!
Author
Oh thank you so much for reading Here to Stay…and giving up sleep to do so. So glad you liked it!
Thanks for the encouragement not to give up. And yes, if you have a chance to check out Needtobreathe, I highly recommend it. Love ’em!
Melissa – I don’t need to be entered in the drawing. I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed this post. I really appreciate how transparent you are–and I agree, writing is hard sometimes (a lot of the time). I’ve always said nothing is fun all the time. What separates the men from the boys, so to speak, is the persistence even through the hard parts. That’s what makes the good parts even better!
Laura
Author
I’m so glad you liked the post, Laura…and I very much agree. Persistence makes the difference, for sure.
Thanks for sharing an honest perspective in the midst of living your dream. I’m sorry your writing life has felt like slogging through mud. Thank you, Lord, for sisters who ask the provoking questions and help us find our way, right? You’re a talented writer and I’m sure your hard work will translate into a novella and third book that are delightful reads.
Author
Thanks so much, Heidi! I think I’m learning to embrace even the slogging through mud days…
And such a huge AMEN to your “thank you, Lord, for sisters…” 🙂
Hi Melissa! What you said–Living the dream vs. Dreaming the dream–says it all. To use an easy metaphor, this writing journey is like sailing across the ocean: full speed ahead with the wind in our sails, steady breezes, a squall or two, an occasional “batten down the hatches” hurricane, doldrums … For me the doldrums are the worst. We hear the chop-chop of the water on the sides of the boat, but the wind just isn’t there. The sails sag. The crew (me) gets discouraged and grumpy. If I don’t eat right and skimp on sleep, scurvy sets in.
My fourth book was by far the hardest I’ve ever written. It’s also the book that taught me the most about my creative process. Eat right. Get some sleep. Fill the well.
Here to Stay is nearing the top of my TBR pile. Can’t wait . . . AND . . . You turned me into a Need To Breathe fan.
Author
Man, I’m so glad I’m not the only one who deals with doldrums…not that I’m happy you do…but you know, it’s nice not to be alone. 🙂
Eat right. Get some sleep. Fill the well. All so important!
And yaaaay for turning you into a NTB fan. Mission accomplished!
Melissa,
I think that you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned comparing yourself to other writers. While we know that “comparison is the thief of joy” women do it all the time! Comparison is a major contributor to our blah days.
What is important is that we find ourselves squarely in the will of God. I have joy despite the challenges of living my dream because I feel like I am doing what he would have me do.
You have a gift that you are using to bring Him glory. He will give you the strength to dig deep!
Author
Comparison is the worst! And thanks bunches for the encouragement.
I work at home (a dream come true), and I face daily challenges. Mainly when it comes to time management and staying on task. I’ve learned that a good “to do list” and big mug of coffee does wonders for my day. 🙂
Author
I have a feeling time management is a challenge for everyone no matter what their situation, huh! And yay for big mugs of coffee.
Melissa, Great post about the work involved in pursuing your dream. If it were easy, you wouldn’t savor the victory so much. I love your first two books and can’t wait to read your next one.
As for me, I’m still in pursuit day by day.
Author
Thank you so much, Roxanne. I’m glad you’re still in pursuit too. Will I see you ACFW?? 😉
I hear ya, sista! Some days writing is like pulling teeth and others it’s like soaring. But you know what, I’ve come to like even the dentist days. 🙂 Because it means I really am living my dream. Great post. And please, don’t doubt yourself. You.Are.A.Great.Writer!!
Author
Yay for really living the dream, days at the dentist and all. And thanks for the kind words…right back atcha, friend.
I love you. And I’m super thankful God has blessed you with great writing friends to encourage you and amazing family and Needtobreathe! You are an encouragement to me and I am beyond thankful for you.
Author
I love you back, Laura, and am beyond thankful for you, too. Come August we’re going to have some serious hangout time!
Melissa, I could feel your concert excitement! Sounds like fun!
I think all of us struggle with various seasons. Aside from our son being ill for so many years, the writing journey is THE hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s had tremendous high points and heart-clenching lows. Here’s a sampling: In the last four years… My daddy’s aneurysm, my mama’s open heart surgery, my husband downsized from a 20 year management career he was set to retire from, and of course–the path to publication. Always, I press on because writing to me is the balm that soothes my weary heart.
God never promised our journey would be good, fair, kind, or easy. I do believe with all my heart, however, when our passion and dreams align with His will for our lives, He will indeed bless our efforts and take us to new heights. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Praying for you, friend! 🙂
Author
Oh my, Cynthia, you’ve been through so much in the past years. And somehow you retain your kind and gentle and fun spirit. I so appreciate that about you. Thanks for always being so encouraging! I hope your path to publication hits those new heights very soon!
Great thoughts as I start my day. Thank you for sharing!!!
Author
You’re welcome. 🙂
I am currently working toward being able to live my dream. I want to be a nanny and there are several things I need to get before I can actually pursue a job. Thankfully I’m not too concerned about actually landing the job once I have the things in order since I have been watching children at least once a week (often 3-4) since I was 11 and I have a bucket full of references. It’s still hard in this waiting time, wanting so badly to move out of my parents home and get my dream job. Thank you for this post and thank you for persevering through those bad days of writing! You are an amazing author!
Author
That’s such a great dream, Abbi, and definitely a way to make a difference in kids’ lives. I’m sorry the waiting period is hard, though. I understand waiting…it can eat at you. I hope it doesn’t stretch out too long!
I’m in that ‘this is no fun’ zone way too often :(. I’m working on it though ;).
NTB is hubby’s favorite too! And though he was jealous you got to see them twice, he didn’t quite understand WHY twice in such a short period of time ;).
Author
Hahaha, now see, I would go to seven NTB concerts in one week if I could. I’m glad NTB is your husband’s favorite band but clearly he must not be as crazy about them as me if he would question going to two concerts in a week. LOL! J/k…
Sorry you’re in the “this is no fun” zone. The hard days make the super fun days even more worthwhile, though. That’s what I tell myself anyway!
Hi Melissa!
I’m actually still finding my dream. I still have “blah” days though, wondering if I’ll ever figure out what God intends for my life. I tend to call those “introspective” days, because they usually involve a lot of self-analysis and contemplating. I’m actually thinking about writing, since that seems to be one of my talents. Now I just need God to show me what to write (I think maybe He’s teaching me patience). 🙂
I will be praying for you. I can’t claim to fully understand, but I do know what’s it’s like to fight with words and struggle with trying to get it right.
Thank you for sharing – it means a lot to me. 🙂
I hope you have a blessed day!
~Sarah
Author
Isn’t patience one of the hardest things to learn ever? I often want to pray that God will make me into a more patient person…but then I think about what he might do to answer that pray and I instantly go noooo. 🙂 I hope you’re able to discover you’re dream–I’m sure you will! Especially if you’re praying and searching. And if writing is the dream…YAY and welcome to the family. 🙂
There are days. And there are DAYS. One has to make the other worth it. Thank you for sharing.
Author
Thanks, Angela. And yes, I agree totally! The awesome, “this is what I always dreamt it would be like!” days definitely make up for the “wait, this was supposed to be fun!” days. 🙂
Melissa,
Your honesty about the “beige days” is so helpful and educational to those standing on the fringes of publication and looking in. Praying you will soon have better days.
Author
Thanks so much, Ava! Beige days aren’t fun…but they’re a reminder that writing is a journey with ups and downs and without the downs, the ups wouldn’t be nearly as exciting, right? 🙂
I am living the nightmare. I guess I am considered good at what I do (some would say great), but it is not what I trained to do, or planned on doing. I am way too old to be considered for what I originally planned, so I stick it out. If I was paid for what I do as well as men in my field (or even paid at all), it wouldn’t be such a struggle, but where I live, that is not possible. Two more years until I can start collecting some social security. Don’t get me wrong…there are lots of bright spots in my life, but usually not from my job.
Author
I’m so sorry, Lisa. That would be such a tough and suffocating position to be in…I hope your situation can change for the better and SOON. I’m glad there are other bright spots in your life, though!
Beautiful post, Melissa. Writing IS hard and we thank all of you authors so much for sharing these stories with us – with all the trouble you are having with that pesky book three (we know you can do it!), I’m so happy to hear, your novella ended well and it wound up being all you dreamed of it. That’s a great feeling and one you can hold on to.
Thanks for the honesty and for sharing. 🙂
Author
I’m so thankful for readers, supporters and friends like you, Rissi! Your kindness is beyond awesome. I’m happy to say book three is moving along better now than it was when I first wrote this post. Did a little early morning writing today and I feel like I’ve finally found the pulse of this story again. Can’t wait for it to be all polished and pretty for readers. 🙂
Melissa, I loved this honest post. And just so you know, as a gal who has in-laws in Hawaii, sometimes Hawaii isn’t far enough. I’m thinking New Zealand might be where I need to hide some days. 😉
I’m not published, but I have blah days. And those days where I yearn to write but “real life” keeps me away from the keyboard. Learning to be content where God has me each day helps me work through those times when the dream isn’t all I thought it would be.
And for the record, I hope my writing sings the way yours does some day. 🙂
Great post my friend!
Author
Ooh can we hide in New Zealand together? I’ve always wanted to go there.
Leaning to be content…yes. My biggest struggle with contentedness is knowing when the restlessness I’m feeling is just discontent that I need to deal with or when it might be God whispering to get ready. Know what I mean? But anyway, yes, there’s something so awesome about being content in our everyday lives, wherever we are. I was just talking yesterday on Facebook to a couple friends about calling. And I said I often think my calling is wherever I am today, right now. I’m not sure what it’ll look like three years or three months or even three weeks from now. But wherever I am today is a calling…and remembering that, I’m sure, goes a long way in pushing past those blah days. 🙂
Thanks for the kind words about my writing. Cannot wait to read yours!