Ten tips to chase your dream {part 2}

silhouette of happy young woman on a swing with sunset backgroundWe’re talking about dreams on the blog…because it’s pretty much one of my favorite topics ever. If you haven’t read Part 1 yet, you can do so right here. Thank you so much to everyone who commented, emailed and Facebooked me following last week’s post. I love hearing about your dreams!

I’ve had the joy of seeing some pretty big dreams come true, but I’m also still in waiting mode on others. So just FYI, these tips are as much for me as they are for you. Without further ado, let’s dive in…

 

Ten tips to chase a dream {part 2}

 

6. Listen to advice

I guess that’s pretty obvious, right? But something that I am personally really good at (so good I wish it was considered an actual talent ’cause then I could totally win that America’s Got Talent show) is hearing good advice…and then not actually taking it. I’ve read many a writing craft book, attended many a workshop, befriended many an author much further down the writing road than me. They’ve often had such absolutely wonderful advice for me.

But then I get busy. I get hurried. I grasp at shortcuts. And I end up ignoring, unintentionally or not, awesome advice from people much smarter than me.

Wise people, wise advice…it’s such a gift! Look for it and listen to it.

But also…

7. Don’t listen to advice

Sometimes it pays not to listen to advice. The keyword here is “sometimes.”

Let’s rewind to the year 2011 when I was in the beginning stages of brainstorming and writing what would end up being my first published novel–Made to Last. There was a character named Blake in that story who ended up being one of my favorite characters! But in those early stages, several super smart people told me he didn’t belong in the story. They had really good points.

But…but my gut instinct told me they just might be mistaken. Blake just might belong. (And besides, I kinda loved him. 🙂 ) So I stuck to my guns. Blake stayed in the story. The book was eventually published and I can’t tell you how many readers have told me Blake was their favorite character. He ended up being the main character in my next book!

I don’t tell you this to say, “Look how right I was and how wrong those other people were.” Oh no, not at all. Frankly, I could list WAY more examples of times I should’ve listened to good advice and didn’t than times I chose not to listen and had a great result. 🙂

But the point is, sometimes you have to go with your gut. It’s not about being stubborn and refusing to listen. It is about learning to pay attention to your own intuition (and even better, God’s guidance) and not being afraid to chart your own course when needed.

Happy Woman on Beach

8. Schedule time to reassess

One of my absolute favorite days of every year is New Year’s Day. I. Love. It. For me, it’s become an annual opportunity to take a deep, digging look at my life and my dreams. For the past several years, I’ve set the day aside (or if I can’t set aside the holiday itself, then I look for a nearby date) to spend the entire day alone. I think. I dream. I journal. I pray. I re-fuel.

And I get intentional about pondering my dream-chasing. What progress have I made in the past year? What progress do I hope to make in the coming year? Is this dream still tugging at me? What feels good about it? What doesn’t? What needs to change? Are there areas in which I’ve gotten out of balance? Is God trying to nudge me a different direction? Why am I doing this? Do I need to check my motivations?

This is such a healthy, healthy thing to do! And it doesn’t have to happen over New Year’s. In fact, last year I spent a weekend with two fellow writers–Susan May Warren and Alena Tauriainen–in November and we basically did this same thing together. I walked away from it with new excitement and bursting energy and best of all…fresh vision. Speaking of…

9. Regularly remind yourself why you’re doing this

So here’s a rather pitiful truth: If you’d run into me at any point during 2014, you might’ve wondered if I was fresh off the set of some zombie movie. I wish I was joking. But seriously, it wasn’t pretty. I was burning the proverbial candle at both ends. I’d said “yes” to too many things with too many impossible deadlines. “Hustle” was my mantra…and I was angstier than I’ve ever been in my life.

That year I prayed a prayer I never thought I would: “God, I’m ready to be done writing. I’ll write one more book because I’ve already signed a contract promising to do so. But after that, unless something changes, I’m done.” I know, I know, it sounds dramatic and like the kind of thing a person should say after writing, oh, thirty books…not a meager three.

But I honestly, truly meant that prayer. My own expectations, the pressures I placed on myself, drained my writing dream of its joy. Again, I feel like I’m sounding melodramatic, but this was the state of my heart at the time.

You know what changed things for me? Remembering why I’m really writing.

It’s not to see my name on a book cover.
It’s not to garner amazing sales and reviews.
It’s not awards or peer respect or reader admiration.

I write because story feels like my lifeline to God. I never feel more intimately connected to God than when characters are coming alive on the page and saying things I never planned for them to say…things I know–I know–are meant for me. Writing is not easy for me, but it is natural in a way studying theology or kneeling to pray or even singing in church with raised hands isn’t.

Maybe your dream has a similar purpose…maybe it doesn’t. Maybe the reason you’re pursuing your dream is entirely different. But whatever your reason, regularly remind yourself what sparked your dream in the first place. Write it down and post it somewhere where you can see it.

kprden geen insanlar

10. Rest Rest Rest

Remember a few paragraphs ago when I said “hustle” was my mantra in 2014?

Fast forward to 2016 and I’d be pretty happy never to hear that word again. I’ve since come to believe that burning the candle at both ends is never a good thing to do for long. Oh sure, you might have a season here and there where you need to work until you’re bone-tired. You’ll have to be the one to decide how willing you are to let that kind of season stretch.

But I know for myself, it’s just not worth it to me to go crazy long stretches of time without real rest. Finishing a book is wonderful, but doing so at the expense of sleep and health and relationships…? I can’t do that. Not anymore.

Know your priorities. And be intentional about getting good physical and mental rest. Don’t let your other hobbies go just for the sake of reaching a goal or achievement. If you’re in an unhealthy season of candle-burning, decide what changes you need to make…and make them. I did this last year in both small ways and one pretty big way…and I can honestly say I feel like a different person in 2016 than I did in 2014.

And even more than physical rest, learn to rest in the love and guidance of God. This, I know: Real rest–the heart-stirring, soul-quenching kind–comes from trusting God.

*****

All right, that’s it…my ten tips for chasing a dream. I would absolutely love to hear about your own dream. Are there any tips that especially resonate with you? Or do you have any tips of your own to share?

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    Comments 7

    1. Thank you for sharing, Melissa! It’s true what you said that dreams can be so overwhelming. I have to be constantly reminding me to take baby steps, do the next thing that is right in front of me. Sometimes when I think of the big picture I end up even forgetting about the next step because the dream seems impossible to pursue. And, as sad as this might sound, I also have to constantly remind me to believe that God is with me and for me and that He has not abandoned me. In fact, He has “put my tears in His bottle”. I can say I’m still in the reassessing phase with this old dream that has to do with environment and agriculture and I had given up upon years ago but God now has been bugging me with it. I don’t know how to get there but I have to remember that He has already blessed my with some opportunities throughout my journey so far that I did not even realize how important they’d be now – one maybe you’ll relate to, which was to be able to live abroad a few times.

      Anyway, thank you for the encouragement! 🙂

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        Author

        Hey Maria,

        I’m so sorry it took me so long to reply to your comment. Crazy couple weeks!! But man, when you said this, I so totally resonated: “Sometimes when I think of the big picture I end up even forgetting about the next step because the dream seems impossible to pursue.” I honestly feel that way so much…I’ll find myself repeating, just do the next thing…just do the next thing. Best wishes and blessings for your environment and ag dream!!

    2. I loved reading this. 🙂
      You have some very good (and helpful) points! I especially agree with resting in the love and guidance of God.
      I have only partly thought about why I want my dreams. It’s a mixture of things… I want to live a life that’s overflowing with craziness, joy, and freedom. I want to make the most of it, and go through some amazing experiences, knowing that God is with me wherever I go. I want to inspire others and encourage others. I want to put a smile on people’s faces and give them something to think about or be happy about.
      Actually, I thought I would write down my journal entry I wrote a month ago, because its what sums up what I feel in the best way.
      “DREAMS. I have so many dreams. Some stay with me forever; they clasp on and never let go. Some dreams are like little vapours; they are there for some time, but after awhile they slowly disappear in all the other things around them. I never used to think that I was a dreamer. I wasn’t like a lot of girls who longed to go to college, get a fine career and grab hold of a massive fortune, or travel the world ceaselessly. No, I was happy being at home, pretending I was a mother, singing songs around the house and not wishing for much more. But as time drew on, the little heart of mine grew restless. I longed for MORE, for something rare and beautiful. I wasn’t unhappy. I had my family, my friends, my stories, music and most importantly, Jesus. But I wanted something extra in my life. I knew there was something more out there, and I wanted to find it. Now pause the scene. This is me now. I still haven’t found the EXACT thing out there. I know of so many more things than I did back then. I have so many more dreams than I did back then. And I’m still learning and dreaming more. In fact, I don’t believe that will ever stop. And you know what? I’m okay with that. I’ll dream my little dreams. I’ll sing my little songs, and I’ll ride every opportunity in my life, like a surfer rides a wave. I may fall off, I may get hurt, but I’ll push to go further. And you know what the coolest thing is? Jesus has always got my back. So why not bask in the freedom of life! And maybe, in a few years’ time, I’ll look back and see how far I’ve come. And I’ll see the kind work of my Father and His guiding hands throughout it all.” 🙂

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        Author

        Meg, I loooooved this comment. So, so much. Thanks for the glimpse into your journal and your thoughts. I just love it. Just from this comment, you strike me as someone who has found a wonderful balance between dreaming and reaching and even being a little restless…but also in being content right where you’re at, waiting to see what’s next. I love that!

    3. Melissa, beautiful post, as usual. I love all of these main points you write and while I 100% agree it’s wise to listen to those wiser then you, I also love that you mentioned not listening to advice too. Or perhaps we listen to it, thank those wiser than us, reevaluate and weigh the pros and cons. As you share above, for you the example given was Blake’s character. I’m SO glad you left him in the story, and sometimes not listening to advice is when your voice is best heard. 🙂

    4. Fantastic points, Melissa! Thanks so much for sharing this. “Remind yourself why you’re doing this”. That’s something that doesn’t often come to mind especially in the scope of author hood equating achieving the BIG DREAM. But in reality, being an author is no easy task. The day to day life of writing and all the ups and downs that go along with this journey, sometimes it’s so necessary to pause and reflect in these ways. Remember who we’re doing this for and why we’re being called. It’s that season, when the emotional high fades, that I think the *real* author life begins and it’s a walk of relying totally on the Lord. Really wise advice. Love this!

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