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| Possibly my favorite Cary Grant role: David in Bringing Up Baby. Although I might like him even better in His Girl Friday. But who can forget The Philadelphia Story? Or Charade? Or That Touch of Mink? Or…fine, I’ll stop. |
The truth is, I’m kind of a nerd when it comes to old movies. And by “kind of” I mean “really” and by “old” I mean generally black and white or that fakey technicolor.
Yeah, that old. I’m a little bothered when people call, say, Free Willy old. (But then, I’m a little bothered by Free Willy in general.)
But yes, so we’re clear, that old. I have a couple bookshelves full of books about all my favorite movies and actors and actresses. My favoritest of faves: Cary Grant.
I love him. I do. He was classy and witty and romantic. And in a few of his really early movies, he even performs some gymnastics. (He actually came from a circus background. No joke.) And, hello, his real name was Archibald Leach. You just have to totally admire a guy who manages to rise above a moniker like that!
So anyway, in a little of my nerdy reading recently I came across a quote from Cary Grant that stood out to me:
I’ve often been accused by critics of being myself onscreen. But being oneself is more difficult than you’d suppose.
First thought in my head after I read it: I wonder if Clark Gable felt the same.
Second thought: Yup.
Another quote is similar:
I can’t portray Bing Crosby, I’m Cary Grant. I’m myself in that role. The most difficult thing is to be yourself–especially when you know it’s going to be seen immediately by 300 million people.
Might’ve been decades ago, but don’t we have the same issue today?
I do think we live in a time when authenticity and sincerity can be harder and harder to pursue…mostly because it’s so ridiculously easy to be whatever and whoever we want online. Being who we are–not in a popular “be who we be” self-expression way, but in a genuine “this is my heart” sort of way–it’s just like Cary Grant said: more difficult than you’d suppose.
But not impossible.
And as I was thinking about this topic this week, I found myself parsing through all kinds of after-school special sorts of thoughts to land on this:
If I really take God at His word that I’m wonderfully made, that He has crafted me into a masterpiece, that He’s chosen me*…
If I really believe all that…
Then being sincere, being authentic, being me in front of three people or 300 million…it’s not going to feel out of reach. Fact is, really embracing who we are in Christ brings a refreshingly new comfort level and attainability to that whole “being ourselves” thing.**
Those are my thoughts anyway, but what do you think?
Do you ever struggle to be genuine or authentic, either online, on stage or wherever? How do you think embracing who you are in Christ impacts that? And just for fun, what’s your favorite Cary Grant movie?***
*Psalm 139:14, Ephesians 2:10, Ephesians 1:4
**Incidentally, the spiritual thread running through my debut novel Made to Last is all about identity…how we define ourselves, being who really we are in front of people or even TV screens versus who we wish we were…or weren’t…or…oh I hope you’ll read the book!
***If you don’t have a favorite Cary Grant movie because you’ve never seen one, consider yourself officially invited to my place for a Cary Grant marathon. Trust me, it’s necessary.
Comments 26
I tend to be a pretty introverted person, but I generally can’t help wearing my heart on my sleeve in my writing. It takes courage to be transparent. But I don’t think I fear people’s criticism for being authentic; I fear their indifference.
My novel has a lot to do with identity as well. Can’t wait to be able to swap books. 🙂
Oh, that’s an interesting twist, Crystal–fearing their indifference. Makes a lot of sense, though. It would hurt to have been vulnerable enough to share yourself with someone and then face indifference on their part…
Ooh, sounds like we were on the same wavelength when it come sto themes in our books!
Great stuff to chew on here, Melissa! I am a huge “old” movies fan too! My favorite Cary Grant, well, probably An Affair to Remember. I’m smaltzee like that.
What a great quote by Mr. Leach. You’re right. That’s a heck of a name. Sometimes it’s easier to pretend, even with ourselves, because we feel vulnerable with who we are, or what people might see. But as we are fearfully and wonderfully made, we would be robbing the world of who God created us to be in it. I never really struggled in this because I had a fabulous family who showed me my identity in Christ very young. Too bad Cary didn’t know how much easier it was to be yourself when you have the indwelling of a Savior.
Ohhh, I love An Affair to Remember. So happy…but so much angst getting to the happiness!
Like you, I grew up in a family who always ALWAYS showed me my value and worth…I don’t struggle too much with “being me,” I guess. Although, I do find myself more tempted to present just the “perfect day” version of myself rather than the me I am on less-than-awesome days. I blame the internet for that. Haha! But yeah…with our identity solidly set in who we are in Christ, it just makes all the difference.
I adore Carey Grant. I loved him in Arsenic and Old Lace. My junior year of high school, the Superintendent asked me if I would direct the school play. I could choose what I wanted, cast who I wanted and I had a budget for props. Naturally, I chose Arsenic and Old Lace. I discovered not everyone had an appreciation of Carey like I did. Except for a boy who I cast in Carey Grant’s role. Today, that boy is my FBI agent contact when I’m writing suspense.
Carey Grant: He brings people together.
Or better
God: uses Carey Grant to bring people together. LOL
Directing your high school play? That had to be a blast!!
Love, love Cary Grant. And like Jessica, Arsenic and Old Lace is my favorite…today. 🙂 I think it’s harder to be who God created us to be when we don’t like ourselves. And that’s usually because we are out of His will for our lives. Great post!
Something to chew on.
I love Arsenic too. Mortimer Brewster… 🙂 I love when he says, “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.” 🙂
I love Bringing up Baby! I think my favorite might be Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream house, though. Love Cary Grant!
I do think it’s hard to be authentic, especially online. Like I told a friend of mine once who was struggling with this, the internet shows us people’s highlight reel – while our gag reel is playing in our minds. Sometimes I think we can get so caught up in the “story” that we don’t know who we really are inside.
Ooh, Mr. Blandings…that’s the one with a grown-up Shirley Temple, right??
LOL, I love what you said–internet showing us the highlight reel, our minds showing us the gag reel. So true!
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Good stuff today. I can relate. It’s really hard to be myself when there are so many cooler people out there. And I think I’m with Crystal: “I don’t think I fear people’s criticism for being authentic; I fear their indifference.”
I haven’t watched many old movies, but you sure are making them appealing! If we lived closer to each other, I would take you up on your Cary Grant marathon …
Yeah, and I think it’s when I start comparing myself to the “cooler people out there” that I struggle the most.
Old movies are the BEST!
Wow, Melissa! You and my daughter would get along. She’s crazy about old movies. Her faves are musicals, especially those that include dancing. She’s gaga over Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra.
Being authentic can be tough. There’s an inherent risk in being real. We wonder if people would like us if they really knew us, so we’re apt to reveal the best parts and keep the rest hidden. There are days I’ve blown it, turn to Gwynly, and say, “If my online friends could see me now, they might change their opinion of me.” I’m guessing others feel the same way at times. At least I hope I’m not the only one who isn’t perfect. 😉
I love Gene and Frank, too. 🙂
And can I just say, you are sooo not the only one who isn’t perfect…says the girl who just realized her entire black skirt is covered in dust from brushing up against her car. And I’ve already seen so many people today…sheesh…
I ADORE classic films, and Cary Grant is one of my all-time favorite leading men. I think my favorites (though it is certainly hard to choose) are North by Northwest, To Catch a Thief, and Charade. Another, lesser-known gem that I just love is Grant’s final film, Walk, Don’t Run, which is a remake of another classic favorite of mine — The More the Merrier. 🙂
Authenticity is HARD, because it requires some vulnerability. Thankful to have the knowledge of who I am in Christ to lean on, when I don’t quite feel up to par. 🙂
Somebody else just mentioned Walk, Don’t Run, too, on Facebook. Love that one!
I love Cary Grant too!! Why didn’t we watch any when we were together? This must be fixed.
You know, it’s funny…I’ve always thought I wasn’t cool enough and I had a lot more problems being real when I was younger because of that fear. And when my mom was sick, I buried all of my doubt in my faith because everyone THOUGHT I was “so strong” and “handling it so well.” But beneath the surface, I wasn’t, and it made me feel even more guilty and just…unknown.
But as I’ve grown and matured, I’ve realized that people like people who are real. I don’t have a natural defense anymore against being real. Then again, I have been blessed enough to not be rejected for being real. I don’t want to hide any light inside of me…and I don’t want anyone to doubt that I struggle. Maybe that’s why I’m so open about my doubt struggles…because I know what it feels like to bury it. It doesn’t do me or anyone else any good. But by showing it, and showing people what God is doing through me–that HE’s the light they see, not me–well, I feel like that’s a ministry. I’m not perfect by ANY means…but I think people are cool with that.
(I don’t mean to say any of this and come off as bragging. I’m trying to say that it’s hard to be real but I think when we are, people notice and it brings God glory. I might not be saying that very well!)
Linz, we can rectify the Cary Grant watching thing when you come here in September!!
I really love what you said about being real feeling like a ministry. It’s so true. And has to make an impact on the people around you!
Love Cary Grant in ‘Bachelor and Bobby-Soxer’ and I am sure plenty of other titles as well. Though my brain isn’t bringing any to mind just now. 😉
Oh, yes, Melissa! Struggling with authenticity can be horribly difficult – and some aren’t emotionally able to handle it. I think we all try to “cover” our flaws to some extent – no one wants to be “not liked” and I think that mentality is something each of us carries inside to varying shades. Ironically, being ourselves/authentic is when we should be most at ease. Those who are true friends accept each other for our silly quirks and flaws. And we ARE wonderfully made. God tells us that and we should be striving to serve Him by those gift’s he’s bestowed on us.
Wonderful post. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
OH wait, Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer is the one with Shirley Temple, right? I think I was confused above and thought the Mr. Blandings one was the one with Temple. Now I’m confused…and feel the need to go consult Google. 🙂
Yeah, I think that is the one with Shirley Temple – either way, it’s cute! 🙂
Oooh! And I like ‘Philadelphia Story’ also. Gotta’ love that cast!
OH yeah, best cast ever–it has all three of my absolute favorites. Katharine Hepburn is far and away my favorite actress…and there’s no topping Cary and Jimmy. 🙂
Two days late on the discussion, but catching up on reading today.
Melissa–Love, loVE, LOVE Cary Grant! Favorites of mine: To Catch a Thief, North by Northwest, An Affair to Remember–but I’d grab some popcorn and watch any one of ‘um(except Arsenic & Old Lace-felt that just wasn’t Cary).
As far as authenticity–either an open book or quiet.
I like that–open book or quiet. 🙂