I love it when we talk in King James when we pray. What I mean is, sometimes when praying we use words we never use otherwise. Out loud, that is. I’m convinced this is a verbal phenomenon. When we’re thanking God for our food in silence, I’m guessing we just straight-up thank him for the macaroni and cheese rather than the “bounty he’s put before us.”

Not catching my drift? Okay, here’s one: “bestow.” How many times does a person ever use “bestow” in normal conversation? Yet, when we pray – again, out loud – people are always thanking God for the blessings he’s bestowed upon us. Hmm, maybe I should go ahead and introduce that word into into my regular vocabulary. Oh, Gevalia coffeemaker, I appreciate the hazelnut coffee you bestowed upon me at 5 a.m. this morning so I could write a truly meaningful blog post.

Other words/phrases that pop up in prayers: mightily, burdens, sanctified, kingdom, transgressions, lift up, bring before you…Not saying we never use these words in non-prayer, but it’s sure rare that I tell my employer I’m “bringing before him” a request for PTO. 

‘Course, then there’s the all-time most popular prayer word. (Okay, maybe it’s second next to “amen.”) And it’s not such an uncommon word. But brilliant blogger and humorist Jon Acuff’s already got that one covered. 

So what got me thinking about this? I wish I could say hours and hours of prayer. But um, actually it was a line in a book I read recently. A line where a little kid – think he was supposed to be around five years old – said, and I quote: “I’m really quite hungry.”

Hmm. Now I don’t hang out 24/7 with five-year-olds, but seriously, unless they’re one of the Pevensies or royalty, it’s just really, really hard for me to picture a little kid using the word “quite” to describe his or her state of hunger. Wouldn’t it be something more like, “I want Cap’n Crunch now!”

Writing stilted and unrealistic dialogue is sooooo easy, but sooooo unhideable. Of almost any novel-writing mishap, I think it’s probably the easiest to spot. Jumps off the page. Characters in books need to talk like real people in order for us readers to feel like they’re, well, real people.

Back when I was reporting, I remember several times when interviewees requested to read my article before it went to print. Most of the time, I was able to be quite gracious  and let them preview the article, usually with the catch-phrase: “Sure, you can read it. I’m willing to change any factual errors.” In other words, the content and style stays. Several times, people returned the article to me with the request that I change their quotes. And then they’d rewrite their quotes to sound like scholars or worse, robots. Grammatically correct ones, but still…

(If you’re a Sioux Center-ite reading this and I interviewed you, I promise I’m not talking about you…:)

People who talk in full, proper sentences and use words inappropriate for their age or background just don’t come to life on the page. Our dialogue needs to roll, to feel natural. Otherwise, our characters will feel stiff and discerning readers will choke on the cardboard taste. 

And, well, maybe it’s not such a crazy idea to carry over into prayer. I do believe it’s important to remain reverent toward God, but that doesn’t have to mean talking to Him like He’s the dean of Harvard. 

Maybe, perhaps, just possibly, it’s kinda silly to sprinkle our prayers with words we never use in any other context. God is an all-contexts God anyway. He’s there and listening when our heads aren’t bowed. He hears us – okay, me – when I use words like “dude” way too many times in everyday life. And still, He listens. I love that. Even more than well-written dialogue.