Tonight I came home with a to-do list that made Martin Luther’s 95 Theses look like preschool homework.
Um yeah. Lots of stuff. And as I ticked off each need-to item in my head, my breathing turned all Nascar. Fast, I mean. Not circular. Thought I might have to paper bag it. The evening’s responsibilities required a sort of Martha Stewart-like wizardry. And it all felt…undoable.
Well, I’ve talked to several writers this week who are feeling the same way about their writing journeys – with so much to learn and digest, so many tips and tricks and tools they want to apply to their writing. A gazillion want-to’s weighed down by unfortunate realities like time (or lack thereof), other commitments and, often, fear or uncertainty.
Gosh, have I been there. Where it all feels like too much, and I want to forget I ever cared about things like characterization and storyworld and synopsis-writing and go become an accountant. (Which, actually, I could never do because, hey, I have no desire to mess up someone else’s finances due to my lack of calculator skills.)
But as I’ve listened and made feeble attempts at consolation, sympathy and encouragement, something’s hit me with stark clarity. And that’s this: The only thing to do is take this writing journey one step at a time. Seriously…or else we’ll face-plant. (Like I did – uh, mostly figuratively – when I tried to vacuum, make a phone call and down a Diet Coke with Lime at the same time earlier this evening.)
That’s all we can do. Just calm down, focus and put one foot in front of the other. Struggling with your plot? Hunker down, let go of huge word count goals and focus on straightening out that story spine. Need to write a synopsis for a contest? Close facebook, turn off your phone and think LINDY HOP. (Okay, that’s My Book Therapy speak.) Feel like you’ve got too much to learn about emotional layering, dialogue, storyworld, word painting, subplots and layers, symbolism, scene building, POV, push/pull…? Well, pick one, just one, and hone in on it. Find your groove. Then move on.
Otherwise, if you try to pack it all in at once, try to, uh, do the metaphorical vacuum-phone-pop thing, it just won’t work. You’ll get frustrated. And half a bag of Sun Chips later, you’ll have decided to give up writing and go to clown school.
And the thing is, there’s always going to be more to do, more to learn. Once the book’s written, there’s the whole proposal thing and finding an agent and going to conferences and oh yeah, what’s that everyone’s saying about building a platform? I guess we just have to get used to unending to-do lists, yeah?
And as long as we’re on the subject, can I hit soul-searching mode for a moment? ‘Cause you know, a lot of times I get that same hyperventilating feeling about my spiritual life. I feel like I’ll never be there, where the real women of God are. There’s always another step of faith to take, a deeper level to go in my relationship with God. I want it all now – unending patience, God-like grace, unstoppable compassion, all the Fruits of the Spirit, wisdom and discernment, a perfect mixture of reverence and friendliness with Christ.
Uh yeah, so not there. But you know what, if I allow myself to breathe, to calm down, to take things one step at a time, well then, maybe today, I’ll see that desire for patience play out in my life. Maybe a couple weeks or months or years down the road I’ll see God’s grace at work in a new way in my life. Maybe in a decade or two I’ll finally feel I have some real God-infused wisdom to offer someone.
But for now, it’s just one foot in front of the other. A lesson in compassion here, a focus on love there. One step at a time.
~Melissa
*****
p.s. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, I completed almost everything on my to-do list tonight, this blog post being my second to last item. The last item? Making chocolate chip cookies. Which, sadly, is not going to happen because my shortening expired in…okay, I can’t make myself say it. Put it this way, it’s a sad, sad state of affairs when a girl can’t remember the last time she made cookies. And I had such nice intentions – they were for my dad. I wonder how he’d feel about half a bag of Sun Chips instead…?
Comments 3
M-Tagg, I like the way you write. And I like the way you think. As my hubby says, “Do the next thing.”
And if you ever need to borrow shortening, I’m always willing to loan you some!
I can totally relate. I’ve been jumping from synopsis to hook to chapter three to blog to graphic art project deadlines that I can never seem to focus on till I’m out of time. I think your blog today shared some wonderful God-infused wisdom for other frazled writers such as myself!
P.S. Chips Ahoy is cheeting, but Pilsbury packaged cookie dough come out of your oven, so they totally count.
Thank you, Beth! I like what your husband says…just do the next thing. Colorado might be quite the distance to trek for shortening…but hey, if it’s an excuse to come visit you, I’ll take it! 🙂
Thanks for the comment, Andrea. Mmm…Pilsbury dough. That stuff’s good right without even baking…:)