So, I write romantic comedy, right? It took me awhile to embrace this. Mostly ’cause for awhile I was convinced I totally had the Ted Dekker vibe going. Then I read what I’d written. And decided I should probably be the last person to read it.
But once I sorta found my writing feet and discovered my voice, rom-com was the obvious genre of choice for me. Because I LOVE funny. And for the love, there’s just nothing funnier than romance.
I’m serious. Nothing else so perfectly lends itself to humor of the awkward, eyebrow-raising or even outrageous variety. Let’s just look at an example from my own life:
Years ago I started dating this guy during January. So February rolls around and with it, Valentine’s Day…which is really not my favorite holiday anyway* but is SO much worse when you’re all like, “Dude, we’ve only been dating a month, so how do we do this whole gift thing?”
Guess what I ended up getting the guy. Guess…
A pillowcase.
This is my first rom-com cover.
I love it. It’s pretty.
I wish I was joking. I really do.
So yeah, romance is funny and I’ve now fully embraced my rom-com roots. And one of the cool things I’ve learned about writing romantic fiction, thanks to the stellar teaching of Susan May Warren through My Book Therapy, is that there are basically two kinds of romance plots:
Why/Why Not
Why Not/Why
In the former you’ve got two characters who obviously belong together. There are all kinds of Whys pushing them toward each other…but then as the story moves forward, a series of Why Nots creep in to pull them apart.
In the latter, your two characters start out with obvious Why Nots between them…and a series of Whys gradually push them together.
The key is keeping the Whys and Why Nots balanced…which is what creates the perfect romantic tension in a story.
Sidenote: Whenever I massively dislike a romantic comedy (which, sadly, has been the case for most of whatever Hollywood has put out in the past 10-15 years), I’m realizing it’s usually because the Why and Why Not are lopsided. (That and half the time they’re just not funny.) Either the Why Not is so huge that I just can’t buy the two characters being together or the Why is so obvious that I’m like, “People, just get together already.”
But here’s the thing: Regardless of whether a rom-com goes the Why/Why Not or Why Not/Why route, it always ends in the same place…
In a good rom-com, the Why always eventually wins.**
And here’s where we take a turn for the spiritual…because I was thinking about this the other day…how life can feel like a series of Why Nots. Not romantically, but generally. Some people start out with a bunch of Why Nots stacked up against them–maybe a difficult home life, poverty, the lack of a parent’s love. Others have a great start but get slammed by a big Why Not–or five–later on in life.
Whatever the plot, whatever the specifics of the Why Nots…everyone’s got ’em. Those things that make us feel helpless or less-than-whole or purposeless. But as we look at the Why Nots in our lives, it’s the source of our Why–the thing pushing us forward into the women and men we’re meant to be–that’s going to make all the difference in how our stories turn out from chapter to chapter.
And I could probably go on and on about looking for a “Why” in the wrong place. But here’s the bottom line:
I want my Why to be found in Christ.
When it is, when my Why is firmly rooted in the confident belief that I was created for a reason…with purpose…and am loved beyond what I can understand…
Well, then, it always wins.
Doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Doesn’t mean the Why Nots don’t suck.
Doesn’t mean there aren’t some black moments along the way.
But when I’m holding on to that kind of truth and growing trust, at the end of the day…the Why always wins.
Like a good rom-com.
Only a heck of a lot better than anything I could write. 🙂
*Except for candy conversation hearts. I really like candy conversation hearts. Once, a coworker and I went a whole day talking only in conversation hearts. Good times.
**Unless you’re writing some kind of rom-com tragedy. Which, in some cases, might have been a better option for some of the stupid Hollywood rom-coms out there.
Comments 20
I can’t wait to read your book. You do funny just right 🙂
P.S. I hate Valentines Day very much.
Thanks, Lisa. As for Valentine’s Day…I’m not really against love and chocolate and flowers and such. I just don’t happen to think it should be confined to one day of the year. HA!
Melissa: You are brilliant in matters of romantic comedy and faith … and connecting the two.
Absolutely brilliant.
Thanks, Beth! I thought this one might be stretching it a bit but really…the topic of rom-com actually can have some depth to it. 🙂
Love it! And I agree with Beth: Brilliant! 🙂 There are so many Why/Why Nots in my own life. But the biggest Why, Jesus, trumps all the Why Nots. That’s the awesome thing about Him.
Thanks, Gabe, and amen. Have fun on your fishing trip!
Love this post, Melissa. I’m usually disappointed in movie rom-com’s too. At least the last several I’ve seen. 🙁
And, hey, a pillowcase makes a good story. I’m not a great gift-giver. It makes me panicky, which leads to odd purchases. Is it the thought that counts? I don’t know!!
Yeah, Hollywood needs help…I mean, I’m NOT a movie snob…at all, really…but seriously, with such fabulous examples from studio era Hollywood, I don’t understand why it’s so hard to do rom-com well today.
Totally the thought that counts. That’s what I tell myself anyway…
You never said why you gave him the pillow case…
So agree about our Why being in Christ. I was listening to Tyler Perry being interviewed by Oprah, and he talked about all the Why nots in his life. (And they were many!) Oprah asks him with all those why nots, how did he get so successful. His answer: God. and His Grace.
Good answer, Tyler Perry. Good answer. 🙂
Um, I need more information on the pillowcase. Yes. Yes, I do.
I want my Why to be found in Christ. Loved this!
Okay, here’s the thing: It was meant to be kind of a cool gift. Another friend who’d been dating her boyfriend for years came across this idea of buying white pillowcases and laundry-safe markers and decorating them. I didn’t have any other ideas, so I copied her. But while hers turned out cute and romantic, mine was all like, umm, not. I’m just not crafty. That and…well it was a PILLOWCASE!
I’m so looking forward to your rom-com, Melissa. I just know it’s gonna be great.
Thanks, Keli. I hope you like it!
Yep, I definitely think Hollywood could learn a big lesson…or ten. I can’t wait to read your book, Melissa! I love romantic comedy!
One of my faves still remains My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Cracks me up! (Family, faith, and the reality of a big, off-beat family.) (Of course, the faith aspect wasn’t front and center as much as I would have liked, and I wish the intimacy before marriage thing would have happened the other way around.)
Thanks, Cindy. Sometimes I wish I didn’t like rom-com so much because then I wouldn’t be so disappointed all the time when Hollywood butchers another one. It’s about the tension and every time, they blow the tension before the movie is halfway over AND humor-wise, I feel like more often than not, they go for the lowest-common-denominator joke over actual humor. Which I realize, once again, makes me sound like a movie snob, but I’m really not. Case in point: I saw Nacho Libre twice in theater.
MBFGW is pretty funny. I like the family dynamic. Definitely by FAR my favorite rom-com of the past decade is Dan in Real Life. LOVE!
“I want my Why to be found in Christ.” YES. Love that, my Friend.
When I first saw the title of your post, I thought it was a computer program or website that I’d never heard of. Yes, really. But you win with the pillowcase story. HILARIOUS!
Haha, Donna. Rom-com = romantic comedy, yes. 🙂
YES! I want my WHY found in Him too:)
And you’re right, Hollywood is seriously failing on Rom/Coms lately. Ever thought of writing a screenplay? 😉
Well, I totally wrote plays as a kid and forced my siblings to act them out…so, I guess if I do ever decide to go the screenplay route, at least I’ve experience. 🙂